Adolescent Clothes Haters!!!!

So, I'm sat talking to my friend in our local/regular pub at approximately 9pm (reasonably early), we hear girls screaming and giggling whilst running around the pub, almost like they've escaped from a school trip, had a sip of Corkys and proceeded to act like they've received a call from JLS asking them to be in their music video or something! . . . but, wait, there is more . . .

. . . Not only is the screaming piercing my earholes, THEN, they insist on taking their t-shirts off to walk around the pub in their bra!!!

For fuck sake girls, if you want attention, you're definitely getting it, but in no way is it positive, you just look like absolute idiots!

My advise would be to invest in a big flashing light that says "PLEASE GIVE ME ATTENTION, I'M DESPERATE" . . . Saves you from getting cold at least?

Mind you, then again, that might leave something to peoples' imaginations and you can't be having that now can you?

Also, if you are going to insist on wearing a 2inch skirt whilst dancing around and grinding up and down every guy you see, please can you at least wear underwear and make sure you are not going to be sick anywhere near me!

FUCK!!! The only bright side is, I think every person that was there on that lovely evening, thought proudly to themselves . . . "Thank fuck I have self-respect and I am not YOU!!!"

***EVOLUTION IS DEFINITELY STILL RUNNING IT'S COURSE WHEN IT COMES TO THE HUMAN BRAIN!!!***

Knock Knock - Is it someone I want to see or a slave of god???

Children SLAVES of "god" . . .

So, I'm talking to Joe Carman about how I've received the dreaded ranter's block. 

Abit of background: Myself and Joe are good friends and lived together for about 8 months, due to this, I'm guessing he's been on the receiving end of my rants on numerous occasions and thanks to his memory, I remembered the sound of the door bell on a Sunday morning, hungover and atheist, i answer the door . . . "Hey, do you believe in "god"?" . . . FUCK FUCK FUCK . . . 

Before I start, I'd like to dedicate this rant to Joe Carman who also feels my pain and frusrtation towards god's slaves.

Joe Carman - QUOTE: You should call the rant "Joe Carman: I'm gonna fuck God's mum whilst he watches and cries like a little bitch"

I'm guessing Joe knows that god is a fictional character and probably created himself as he's that brilliant!!! 

So, what gives these church lovers the right to come round to my house and throw verbal shit into my earholes???

I answered "No, I do NOT believe in god",  I proceed to reach for the door to close it and try to enjoy the rest of my Sunday, but, apparently, I'm not allowed to shut the door until I've heard about why I should be a christian . . . wait for it, this gets goooood . . . 

"Ok, so why should I be a Christian?"

The Response:
Jesus offers salvation and eternal life to all who are willing to put their trust in Him. You do not need to 'clean up' your life before you come to Jesus.
You do not need to go to a particular church or cover up your tattoos or get a haircut or change the way you dress.
Jesus loves you just as you are. 

"Right, ok, still don't believe in god, jesus or want to become a christian, so please can you leave and I apologise for wasting your time"

That's polite, right? I said PLEASE and SORRY for crying out loud!!! I even took they're little, judgmental story book and placed it in the bathroom for a  quick read, but, no, that's just not good enough. 

So, now, it's Sunday morning, I'm hungover, haven't eaten, have dry mouth and I DO NOT believe in god, yet, I have to accept the fact that I'm being harassed on my own doorstep!

You can only begin to imagine the uproar if atheist's were to go round to christians' house's on a Saturday morning (let's face it, they'll be at church on a Sunday or endlessly walking the streets in search for a gullible human being!)

Atheist: "Excuse me sir, do you believe in god"
Christian: "Why, yes, I sure do - Amen!"
Atheist: "WHY? . . . Why are you ignoring the facts. Here's a copy of Zeitgeist, watch it and stop being fooled by a BOOK . . . Now have a great day, bye bye now"

It would probably be illegal!
I respect the fact that we all have our own beliefs, so this situation will never take place. I just think it's crazy that it's ok for random people to come to my house and preach at me! 

If you want to believe in the "bible', go ahead, just respect the fact that I am a non-believer and that's my choice! 

It's like the BNP posting bullshit racist leaflets through my letterbox - FUCK OFF! I'm not an ignorant cunt, don't put your shit through my letterbox - THANKS!!! 

Saying "lol" is NOT laughing!?!

Laughing: To express certain emotions, especially mirth or delight, by a series of spontaneous, usually unarticulated sounds often accompanied by corresponding facial and bodily movements.

It's like saying "brb" when you're leaving to go to the bar for 5 minutes - people are turning into robots!!!

Use your words and laugh when you find something funny for fuck sake.

RANT OVER!

(Apologies to all those who take offense)

Narcissistic Facebook Status'

Ok, so, I swore I wouldn't endlessly read through people's facebook status', but, when you don't have a lot to do, it's raining outside, the strings on your guitar are fooked and you've watched far too much South Park, I always get tempted to log on . . .

I proceed to log into the facebook world and examine online activity . . .

I can't bare to read the status' of people that are just online to crave attention . . . A few examples . . .
"Fuck my life", "I'm so down", "I wish I was pretty" . . . you guys might as well say "someone ask me what's wrong", "Someone ask me what's happened" and "Tell me I'm pretty, I love compliments!"

Oooops, sorry, slight error on the "fuck my life" part (don't want to upset anyone), forgot it's now FML?!?!?!

Some of my favourites are as follows . . .

- "I need to lose weight, I hate myself"

Just look in the mirror, you're 8 stone love! Oh, sorry, you don't really think you're overweight, you just want the whole of facebook to reassure you that you don't need to lose weight in order to make yourself feel better!

- "I hate it when people cause arguements for no reason, what a prick!"

I hate it when I have to see other people's domestics on facebook, don't flaunt it all over facebook and purposely make the person that we know you are talking about (although you think you are being sly and mysterious) look like a complete tool in front of all your mutual friends, deal with it in private, you know, like adults? Since when did facebook become the Jeremy Kyle show! Noone cares if your boyfriend was 10 minutes late and you are ready waiting - call him if you're that concerned!
I've never seen such an obvious way to cause trouble.

. . . WOW, sorry, realised that I am being a bit harsh, apologies to those who do not agree, I just like to use my blogs for rants - it's a therapeutic way to let go! teehee . . .

By no means am I saying that my status' are full of meaning and are never completely pointless, just publicising the fact that I don't care for attention seeking, I mean, you might as well get naked and run through a crowded public area, with a flashing sign on your head if you are that desperate for someone to notice you!